Churches with poor, or misaligned DNA are struggling churches. The DNA of a church begins and ends with leadership. And the leadership within your church is composed of a Pastor or pastors, staff, or volunteer staff and volunteers. How those leaders act, feel and serve will mold your churches DNA and ultimately its future. So…if you’re a pastor or a key leader, and have input in process and systems. Listen carefully….
Take great care of the Staff!
Here are seven habits that will tear up a staff, and misaligned your DNA for the future…
Most church staff work hard, are very dedicated and take their calling seriously. However, you may encounter a bad hire, or a troubled staff person and they kinda go off course.
The first temptation is…establish a rule that prohibits the found action. Wrong! That makes the other staff feel penalized and judged.
Make rules for the majority of your staff, deal with the others 1-1.
Flexibility = Increased productivity and satisfaction. Don’t be the big brother. Don’t put in a time clock. Let your leaders and staff lead! If you see someone take advantage of the flexible time system…Go back to #1
This should be a no-brainer, but I see it toooo often. Leaders participating or allowing gossip and slander to enter conversations. Allowing gossip, even a little, is like a little cyanide. It still kills!
They’re aren’t many things more discouraging to a staff person who is ready to work and get down and do some serious Kingdom business, than not having what they need to get it done. I’m not talking about bottomless budgets, or grand bands, but… basic technology, space, resources, volunteers and support.
We can’t give someone a ball, that has no air, and expect them to play and win with it!
You have to communicate that same vision, passion and direction to your key leaders and staff, in their context. Whenever a vision is communicated the first question is “What does this mean to me?” So, you need to really know your leaders, the things they value and fear.
Communicate to them where they are. Then and only then will they be able to catch the vision.
Poor planning on your part does not necessitate an emergency on the part of others. Now, we all know those occasions do arise, and a good staff will rise to the challenge. But don’t put undue pressure and hard deadlines on people on a constant basis, it will burn them out!
It’s not about you, the leader. Those God has put around you are the ones that really make it happen, so, give the kudos to those. I don’t remember who said it, but I like what they said…
As a leader, “Take all the blame for a mistake, but none of the glory for a victory.”
For more on this author, visit http://artiedavis.com
I am always encouraged when I witness Ministries that support and care for those whom have been called by Christ to serve alongside them. This article is about the other side of career ministry. It is for the ministers that have served within a Church culture where the pathological antagonist and Church bullies thrive and have left many wounded Ministers in their path. If you are that wounded Minister or the spouse of such a Minister, we want this article to be for you.
When PTSD occurs at once it is usually because of some great stress experience that was a kin to war or terrorism. In other words, your life was at stake literally. But PTSD (complex) can occur after a long period of stress we sometimes call "bullying."We hate to say it, but it does occur in churches, by the board, the influential members, the denominational leaders, etc. Over the years, it can take its toll. Just think what years of unconditional love could do to you? The pain and the abuse can be incredible. For those of you who are not suffering too badly, please allow us to take a journey into PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) with those who are so very deeply wounded. PTSD is most often associated with war or terrorism. For those pastors on the very edge of life/death, pastoring has been an experience in war and terrorism. I want to introduce the subject with a definition and a few symptoms.
Here is a simple definition, on-medical-layman's understanding: "Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a natural emotional reaction to a deeply shocking and disturbing experience. It is a normal reaction to an abnormal situation." Now, with 1,500 leaders a month stepping out of their roles in the church we can challenge the terminology of "abnormal situation." But let us try, ever so unsuccessfully to not be cynical! Have a look at some of the symptoms of PTSD PTSD can occur from a single life threatening event of horror, or it can be an accumulation of stress over time, sometimes called the "bully effect." If you have ever been a denominational pastor or been bullied by the board, I don't need to explain the terminology to you.
Here are some symptoms:
Common symptoms of PTSD and Complex PTSD that sufferers report experiencing
hyper vigilance (feels like but is not paranoia)
exaggerated startle response
irritability
sudden anger or violent outbursts
flashbacks, nightmares, intrusive recollections, replays
triggers sleep disturbance
exhaustion and chronic fatigue
reactive depression
guilt
feelings of detachment
avoidance behaviors
nervousness, anxiety
phobias about specific daily routines, events or objects
irrational or impulsive behavior
loss of interest
loss of ambition
anhedonia (inability to feel joy and pleasure)
poor concentration
impaired memory
joint pains, muscle pains
emotional numbness
physical numbness
low self-esteem
It is so hard for the modern western leader to admit he/she may have such a deep wound. Another name for this wound is "shell-shock." During WWI, General Haigh had over 300 British and Commonwealth soldiers shot for cowardice - and it is now believed many were simply suffering from shell shock. During WWII many British fliers were labeled LMF. They "Lacked Moral Fiber" and were dishonored in that manor. Many in our modern western society just can't bear to believe you can be wounded emotionally or spiritually. As we said, Matt Dillon never left Doc and Kitty in charge of Dodge City while he hopped a stage to Abilene for stress counseling!
When we think of PTSD we often and correctly think of war and terrorism. Other terms for PTSD can include shell shock. In recent years it has been concluded that prolonged stress of certain kinds (bullying) can have a cumulative effect and impact you as much as one life and death threat in wartime. In other words, it is possible for a church leader to suffer PTSD. Bullying can be thrust upon you by the denominational leadership, church board, leading members involved in power struggles, your mate, fellow pastors, or you, yourself, can bring this pressure on others if you are in authority in some manner. Legalistic churches and cults are famous for bullying followers as a method of control. When this happens, an entire culture that is unhealthy develops, sometimes on a worldwide basis if the denomination is large enough. Both leaders and lay-members become wounded in such churches.
For so many of us who have been abused in this manner (bullying), rejection is how our heart reads it. The great irony is, Christianity is the one true religion that should underscore unconditional love from a caring deity. Yet, the church, itself, can be one of the most destructive organizations to the human spirit. With a war victim suffering from PTSD, the shock of what one human being can do to another plays a major factor.There is a total disillusionment with life, people and purpose. With the church leader suffering from PTSD, there is the nearly unbelievable shock of being treated in a certain manner by people claiming to be children of God. In both cases, the sensory bombardment is a reality that seems too harsh to accept. For the war victim, it is man's willingness to destroy life in a very cheap manner. For the church leader, it is the reality of the church’s or denomination's carnality and willingness to play politics.
Let me say to those of you in deep pain right now. First, above all else, and in spite of all evidence, our Father has NOT forsaken you. He is with you, and He will bring you through this. Second, you will be healed by His grace, and end up knowing Him better than ever. That's a fact, whether you can believe it now or not, it will happen.
"Will you continue to stand by and let your church drown financially?"
So began an ad for "Financial Empowerment Seminars." The target audience: church members wanting to invest profitably, while also benefiting their churches and communities. The seminars were led by a man who now faces federal prosecution by the SEC for defrauding investors of more than $11 million in a Ponzi scheme. Meanwhile, these "investors" need to rebuild not only their financial security, but also their emotional security, especially after being betrayed by "spiritual leaders" who were found to be spiritual abusers.
This new term "spiritual abuse" may not be something you're familiar with, but you may have heard about it or seen its effects in the life of someone you know … or you may be recovering from it yourself. (It is possible to be in a spiritually abusive relationship … and not even know it.)
Ephesians 2:18–19
Should you become a member of a local church? To be as clear as possible: yes.
Jesus lived and died for the church (Eph. 5:25). In Christ, you are a member of the invisible church. In Christ, you are called to become a member of a local church.
Romans 1:18
If you could create the rules for reconciliation, what would it look like? Think of it. God gives you the task of coming up with rules for when somebody has wronged another person. What kind of rule system would you create?
I recently found a group that decided to magically change the wrong into an elephant in the room. You know, you’re together in a group setting and there’s the one topic that nobody is going to bring up? That’s the elephant in the room. Everybody sees the elephant but everybody ignores it.
I am currently working through the book of Romans in my daily devotions. The entire book is dedicated to this topic of our reconciliation with God. In the first chapter, Paul describes the wrong we’ve committed against God. And it’s serious. It says in Romans 1:18 that “God’s wrath will be revealed” upon those that have wronged him.
Now, let’s apply our own reconciliation rules and see if they will satisfy God’s wrath. I don’t think an extended time will erase our need to reconcile and I’m quite sure that not talking about it will satisfy God either.
Don’t you think it’s time to accept what the Bible rules about making amends with others? I’m sure it won’t look anything like we imagined.
First, if you are not a Christian, ask Christ’s forgiveness for leaving him out of your life. If you are a Christian, I’m challenging you to lead as examples of reconciling with others. It all starts by acknowledging the wrong you’ve done and then stepping out and making amends.
If we don’t demonstrate making amends to those that we have hurt, how will people understand how to make amends to God?
An interesting thing happens when a minister is wounded in action. He stays quiet. Why? Because he knows about the unwritten rule of silence. Those outside career ministry will not easily understand this but filing a grievance is not something a pastor does.Here’s a quick look at the drama.In ministry there is a statement that needs much examination (for further discussions). A minister will be taught that things will need to be done “for the sake of the church”. What that ultimately means is that at the end of the day, the organization that resides at xxx maple street needs to come out a winner. In many situations, “for the sake of the church” law will take precedence over what was known to be right, spiritually and legally. To violate the rule will surely come under some serious spiritual abuse. Scripture verses will be thrown your way and pseudo-spiritual guilt will be placed upon you.
Denominational leaders will be hesitant to intervene because of the investment they would have in the organization. “After you have left, Frank, we still have a Church at xxx Maple Street that we need to care for. It is better for you if you just leave and bless those whom have done wrong on the way out.”In many cases it’s just easier for the Pastor and family to stay quiet. Accept the fake platitudes from the bullies at your farewell and move on.
I personally know of one denominational leader tell a hurting Pastor, “you need to bundle up all the hurt of this church inside you and move on.” What’s the result? The Pastor has no one to talk to about his hurt, in fact, he’s preaching to a new church the next week telling the congregants about the joy of following Jesus. The Pastor’s wife follows because she is the submissive pastor’s wife that smiles, plays the piano and works in children’s ministry. She shows that enduring, endless joy on her face. At home the children see the tears, hear the cries, knowing full well what the Church Board bullies have done. Even if you were free to talk, who would you tell? Your friendships and support networks are all connected to the Church or Denomination.
Sometimes there have been few life-relationships that have developed simply because you find yourself moving to a new ministry every five years. If you have tried to share with a friend, you get the “Well, Frank, you just need to bring it to the Lord in prayer.” “All things work together for good…., Pastor.” As though we want to hear another one of those shallow replies. And so we move on, each time with a little more bundled up hurt and a few more defense mechanisms, determined it will not happen again. For some, it happens again and again. It should be no surprise that eventually the Pastor leaves the ministry, burned out and destroyed. The Pastor’s wife experience is no less, if not even greater. What is the honest end? The Church Board Bullies continue with their dysfunctional leadership. The Pathological Antagonist attacks the new guy. And the Pastor and family end in ruin. Silence is not a win. Not for you or the Church.What’s your “silence” story? We would love to hear.
It is easy to become “experts on things we’ve never experienced” when it comes to our faith walk. We memorize the key Bible verses and have the church language down to the comfort level in our conversation. Some have even mastered the top level expertise of extending church platitudes to those with hurts and needs; “I’ll pray for you” and “God still has a plan for your life” and of course the granddaddy of them all, “all things work together for good…”. We can do all these things so that we sound like faith experts and yet have never personally experienced any depth of Christ’s reality in our lives. Our faith is so very shallow and yet we sound like an expert. In some Churches you will be qualified for leadership if you can handle a few steps of getting the Christianize lingo to a comfortable level. “Elect that man/woman to the Church Board!” cry the congregants. When people are elevated to organized faith’s highest leadership levels with little consideration and scrutiny, the result is can only be devastating.
It takes little time before the emotional and spiritual health of a Church begins to fail. What was Christ’s command to the Church? What is to be the priority of the Church’s activity? Where is the power of the Church found? How is success to be defined according to the Scriptures? Questions like these begin to find the definitive answer from “experts on things they’ve never experienced.”
Into this environment steps a Pastor. The ruling board appreciates your enthusiasm and abilities. Humor is considered a wonderful bonus. On the Pastor’s side, he lives with God’s call on his life and seeks to follow Christ and Shepherd the Church in according to how Christ is leading him in partnership with elected or appointed leaders. It is the collision of two planets. Leadership begins to operate on two distinct playing fields. In many situations the same words are used yet with major differences. The Pastor finds himself in the difficult place of setting his calling aside and submitting to plastic experts in order to keep the peace and his job. Before he realizes it, Sunday morning is little more than a performance, at least this is how the Pastor feels if he is completely honest.
Maybe you have been there. You have the scars. If you ever have the chance to do it over again, I encourage you to consider much more closely the process of appointing or electing the Church Board / Leadership Team / Elders, whatever you call them. I would be interested in hearing your thoughts or experiences.
WE SHARE A COMMON GOAL
IT’S NOT JUST TO SAVE OUR OWN SOUL,
THE LORD HAS GIVEN US A TASK TO DO
LET’S JOIN TOGETHER
WHILE WE LOVE ONE ANOTHER.
IT’S NOT MY AGENDA OR YOURS
OR WHICH MAKES ME LOOK BETTER
AND YOU MUCH WORSE
GOD IS INTERESTED IN EVERY MATTER.
STOP FOR A MINUTE
YOUR JUDGING HAS REACHED THE LIMIT
TAKE NOTE HOW YOU CAN HELP
EVERYONE SUCCEED IN THEIR CALLING.
WE WILL SHOW THE WORLD JESUS
BY WORKING IN UNITY TOGETHER
AND MOSTLY BY LOVING EACH OTHER
BECAUSE WE SHARE A COMMON GOAL.
Heidi Peters , March 16, 2010
Matthew 18:15-17 sounds basic enough.
The deal is that if someone offends you, you tell him. All’s great if he listens. But what if he doesn’t, that’s when you bring a friend with you and approach the offender a second time. But if still doesn’t listen, then you tell the Church. To me that would be the governing board of the Church. It then becomes their problem.
And what is the Church to do? The elders of the Church approach the offender, and if the offender still doesn’t listen, then you treat him as you would a non-believer. When is the Church released from this issue? Simple, it’s when they have been successful at the first step or completed the last step.
"If your brother sins, go and show him his fault when the two of you are alone. If he listens to you, you have regained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others with you, so that at the testimony of two or three witnesses every matter may be established. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. If he refuses to listen to the church, treat him like a Gentile or a tax collector.”
But Church discipline seldom happens today and so we have to beg the question why. Some Churches will tell you they have conducted Church discipline but when you examine it further, it is usually the person that few people know and you’re confident that they’ll just go away quietly. It is seldom, if ever, the one with power and money. And so what’s the issue?
We could go into great depth with each item below, but for this article, let’s just stick to the basics. Why do Churches no longer use Church discipline? In short the answer is in our culture, leadership and our view of sin.
There’s a lawyer and rights movement behind most any door. The last thing a church board wants is a lawsuit or to see their picture on the 6:00 news. They do have a valid point. We live in a culture where the average person is looking out for number one – themselves. If they are hurt in any way, the first thing they want is redemption and so retaliation is the way to go. Get them where it hurts. Because of this fear, the Church Board will make a hasty decision that is usually based on a now famous goal and the easy way out – “For the sake of the Church”.
In the end of the day we have begun to fear our culture more than God.
And this is a biggie. This has been the era of “leadership”. Christian book stores have separate sections dedicated to this. “How to Lead a Church” is the question of the day. I do understand why the shift has taken place. A big reason is in our defense against the dangers of my first point.
We have begun to see our need to place accountants, businessmen and lawyers to be decision makers in the Church and so we elect them to be our Elders. When legal challenges come our way, we are well equipped to deal with them before the threat becomes real. After all, who is better to deal with these issues the individuals that work with these details every day. Our leadership has begun to reflect the business norm. Makes sense.
The problem is that our values changed in the process. Godliness has been replaced with personal skill. Suddenly the Scriptural criteria for leadership have run into conflict with our new view of leadership. “We could really use Joe on the Board. He would know how to deal with this matter.” The ramifications of this “new leadership” have paralyzed the Church of spiritual wisdom and power.
We have forgotten what an elder actually is. I understand the wisdom of having the expertise of skilled men and women at our disposal. Their knowledge is invaluable. But their knowledge does not and never will on its own, qualify them to be an elder. Call them whatever you want. Take advantage of their knowledge. But they are not elders and today’s Church is in desperate need of elders.
In the end we have begun to esteem ability more that godliness.
We have forgotten what sin is and its impact on the Church.Throughout every New Testament book, you hardly pass by any chapter without coming face to face with the threat of sin. It is a cancer that will rip out the spiritual immunity of any Church. Unchallenged, it will cause the greatest Church to become spiritually oblivious to the threat.
In the end we have begun to choose peace over battle. We have called sin a personality conflict rather than what it really is. We have called in conflict resolution specialists to deal with the symptoms of sin rather than the elders dealing with the sin.
As the Laodicean Church, we have become complacent about sin and forgotten Christ’s opinion with us. The one that stands in the Churches way will suffer the ramifications.
If you are an individual that has been hurt by sin in such a church, you have three choices: First, become subdued. You make the decision to speak no ill of the Church Board’s decisions. Next, your choice could be to fight and lose again. You won’t win and the hurt will deepen each time. Finally, you can leave quietly and find a place where you can be nurtured spiritually.
What’s needed? Preachers need to become preachers. They need to fight sin at its very core. We need a reformation back to orthodoxy, power in the pulpit and leadership that is determined to be separate from the world’s culture and to pattern a new kingdom culture.
Churches with Great DNA…Are GREAT churches! Churches with poor, or misaligned DNA are struggling churches. The DNA of a church… 
I am always encouraged when I witness Ministries that support and care for those whom have been called by Christ… 
"Will you continue to stand by and let your church drown financially?"So began an ad for "Financial Empowerment Seminars." The… 
Ephesians 2:18–19 Should you become a member of a local church? To be as clear as possible: yes. Jesus lived… 
Romans 1:18If you could create the rules for reconciliation, what would it look like? Think of it. God gives you… 
An interesting thing happens when a minister is wounded in action. He stays quiet. Why? Because he knows about the… 
It is easy to become “experts on things we’ve never experienced” when it comes to our faith walk. We memorize…
Matthew 18:15-17 sounds basic enough.The deal is that if someone offends you, you tell him. All’s great if he listens.… 
